he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
