No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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