come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i dont even know how to be here
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
