it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
