roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
