I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
