she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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