i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
