I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I need water and some morals
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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