wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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