U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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