If that was your dad, he is hot
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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