Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize