She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
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I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
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Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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