I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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