Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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