remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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