ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
