I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Let's paint friendship bongs
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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