I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
