I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
4 words: hood of his car
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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