Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
