That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
