White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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