once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
