I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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