Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
