We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
