no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize