Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
