Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
