if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
