will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
