just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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