Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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