i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Panties = found
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
