pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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