I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
