HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
