well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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