he shaved USA in his pubs
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I need to align my fucking chakras
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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