do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
