I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
