why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
