used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
