I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
