So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
