do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?