she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
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I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.