so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?