Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she pinky promised me she was 18
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.