life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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