I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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