i permit you to call me
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
