its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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