Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
