she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
