i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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