who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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